Our Midwives
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Megan Young, Traditional Midwife
Megan Young is a traditional midwife who is passionate about helping women achieve peaceful, natural births. She believes that we should "trust birth," after all, haven't women been doing this for thousands of years? Megan thinks the data showing high rates of maternal and fetal death before modern obstetric innovations became available are just "fear mongering."
She became a midwife after a course of self-study in which she read over ten books on natural birth. And yes, that is her only qualification! She has been a midwife for seven years, helped bring over 200 children into the world, and has had no negative outcomes (that she is required to tell you about). |
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Greg Simpkins, Apprentice Midwife
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Greg is the newest addition to our team of midwives. He has been delivering pizzas for two years, and figured, hey, delivering babies isn't that much different, right? He wanted to start making more money, and realized that as a midwife he could charge thousands of dollars for every single home birth. Like the rest of us here at our practice, Greg does not offer refunds if he doesn't make it to your house in time for the birth, or if you transfer to the hospital at any point or for any reason.
Greg is glad that, as an unlicensed midwife here in Utah, there are no restrictions on his scope of practice. He plans to take on all clients regardless of their risk factors; he has thought about it and decided that the benefits to him outweigh the risks to them. Greg didn't want to go to college and was happy to find a profession that only required a high school education. He almost failed high school biology, but was able to make it up in summer school. He has not taken any other classes on how the human body works, but luckily neither Utah nor the certifying body for CPMs cares. |
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.